3 Things I wish I would’ve known before my first birth

Hey, mamas! Whether you’re expecting your first baby or your tenth, I think we can all agree there are always new things we take away from pregnancy and birth. These three things below are some of the ones I wish I would’ve known before having my first baby. I learned from my naïveté and was able to make great decisions with informed consent with my subsequent pregnancies and births, so I now love to share about my previous lack of knowledge with new moms, in the hope that they might avoid some of the challenging things I experienced myself.

1. Your medical provider works for YOU!
   For some reason, many of us are conditioned to believe that doctors or midwives are superior in all knowledge, and therefore we must submit to them in all things. But the truth is, although they might be experts in their fields, they aren’t experts in YOU. No one knows you better than you do. If you’re uncomfortable with something or have a strong conviction to do/not do something, it is so important that you do what is best for you. If your current provider isn’t respectful of you and doesn’t make you feel safe, can I encourage you to find another provider? It’s never too late to switch to someone new. Interview different doctors or midwives and ask important questions to see if you’d be a good fit.

2. It’s OKAY to say, “No,” or, “Not right now.”
   If you’re unsure about making a decision in your pregnancy or birth, PAUSE and take the time to make an informed decision. Pray about it, do your research, talk to your husband/family/friends, etc. If you are being pressured or scared into making a decision you aren’t ready to make, refer back to point #1. This is also why the role of a doula is so important…a doula won’t tell you what to do, but will guide you through the process of making informed decisions so you know all the risks and benefits before making a choice on something you don’t have all the facts about. This is especially important during labor, when your mental capacities are not what they usually might be. Having the support of a trained doula in that time is so helpful, and something I wish I would’ve had myself for my first birth.

3. Don’t let someone tell you when it’s time to push—your body will tell you!
   Did you know that God designed women’s bodies with an amazing thing called “Fetal Ejection Reflex” or FER? This is a reflex that literally “expels” the baby without actively pushing. I had no idea this was a thing before I had my first baby. So when the OB checked me after a very hard and long labor and said that I was dilated to a 10 and told me to start pushing, I didn’t question her…TWO HOURS of pushing later, my baby was born. Can I tell you something straight up? That is NOT normal. Your body knows how to give birth because God designed it to. Don’t let a medical provider tell you when to push—your body will make it very obvious to everyone around that it’s time for your baby to come out

So, those are my top three things I wish I would’ve known before having my first baby! Stay tuned for more in the future. Please share in the comments anything you wish you would’ve known before having your first, or if this is helpful to you as a first-time expectant mama!